Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
