So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
pray to the hookup gods
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
