i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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