My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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