"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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