i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize