You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
