The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
