the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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