physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
