i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
