If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
