i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
