plz talk dirty to me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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