I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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