glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize