so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
