Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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