He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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