He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
