My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
