I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
