i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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