Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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