I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
