): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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