you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
