in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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