I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
