I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
