He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
