Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
