dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
