I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
