my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
