I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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