alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
