there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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