Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
