im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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