I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
