we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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