Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
