yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
