He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
