U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
