How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
