Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
