You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
