Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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