Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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