if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
