I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm passing your future prison.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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