need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
