She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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