SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize