NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
