laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
